Nothing is ill said if not ill taken !!

Ignorance can’t be bliss all the time. There are times when though ignored, the things bother us. Nobody tells us what is to be done then. These are the times when the actual battle takes place in our minds. We have two options either ignore or answer back. But some comments are so cheap that it cannot be dignified with a response. What to do when you have to deal with the people who puke acid? You will get the answer at the end of the post.

To deal with any of the problems, we first need to understand its reason. What type of people make it their duty to taunt people?Β 

1. Jealous

This type of people will be having a problem in whatever you do. According to them whatever you do is a deadly sin. They won’t leave a single chance of making you feel small. They don’t realize that it’s not you that’s bothering them, it’s their jealousy. You are what they want to be or are trying to be. You either remind them of their failure or they feel inferior in your presence. They get too used to trying to bring you down that they often forget that the things they speak may drive people away from them. The mean things they say to you might be funny for some time but after a point it gets too lame. People eventually stop being a part of their jokes and become nice to you.

jealous

My advice – Instead of feeling bad for yourself and indulging in self-pity, be proud that somebody thinks you are better than them. Whenever they make a mean comment to you, smile and walk away because you don’t need to stand up to people who are immature to deal with their emotions. Β Take their comments as compliments and as a reminder of your achievements.

2. Rumor spreaders

This is the evolution of jealous people. When they can’t bring you down with their mean comments and wishing ill for you does not bring you down either, they resort to the next possible thing they can do to satisfy their egos. Spread Rumors! Rumors are usually spread by the people who can’t have their means with you or know that they can’t achieve what you already have. These people thrive on the believers of anything that is served with a caption of SECRET! Gossipers are the perfect means of spreading rumors. Just tell them not to tell anyone and boom, the very next day, the whole universe knows about it.

rumores-politicos-2

My advice – You come to know who started that rumor, you most probably know the reason too; but you reacting to it will surely satisfy the purpose of it. Rumors are spread with a purpose of degrading a person’s name and breaking his confidence. My advice to that is don’t let any of the rumors you hear about you bother you. You have spent more time with you, than anyone has so you know yourself better. You don’t want to react and give people a reason to think that the gossip doing the rounds might be true.

Or you can do what I do… instead of ignoring it, enjoy the stories you hear about yourself with popcorn, of course. πŸ˜› Β You might actually get some brilliant ideas that may help you in future. πŸ˜‰

3. Gossipers

Now, these are the people who act as mediators for rumor spreaders and believers. Without them this game ain’t getting anywhere. They are interested in anything and everything. They take the input from rumor spreaders and give the output to rumor believers. They don’t bother much about relations. They will choose juicy detail over you any given day.

images (29)

My advice – If they choose shit over you, let them be in the toilet and lock them there. πŸ˜›

Don’t confuse Gossipers with Rumor Spreaders because Rumor Spreaders give birth and carry the newborn gossip which is nourished by Gossipers and sent to rumor believers.

4. Rumor Believers

Now this kind of people will believe any kind of shit they hear. They won’t even bother to see how illogical the rumor is. I mean, come on dude, can’t you just use your common sense. These are the backbones of Rumor Spreaders. Without them rumors won’t survive. They are actually doing a good deed by giving life to something… just kidding, they don’t have a life themselves.

rumors-are-no-fun

My advice – Pay attention to people who believe in such things because they are the people you don’t need in your life. What good is a friend who believes someone else over you. Rumors actually bring out the true colors of people. True friends stick by you and fake friends believe the rumors. Don’t ever explain yourselves to them, it will do no good to you. You better cut them out of your life. You already have lots to deal with, you don’t need negativity around you.

5. Friends a.k.a. Secret Haters

Well, they are your friends because they can’t afford to be your enemies. They might need your help with something that might stop if they come out as your enemy so they make a safe bet of pretending to be your friend and you won’t even know when they got you to dig your grave yourselves. They support the jealous, become a fact giver to the rumors and enjoy you suffer.

images (30)

My advice – Never completely trust a person who says they are your friend unless their actions back it up.

What to do when you have to deal with the people who puke acid? Thank them. Yes you read it right. THANK THEIR SORRY ASSES! leave them confused to why their hard work is going all waste and why are they failing in getting you down or at the most getting a response out of you. You won’t have to destroy them, they will do it for you sooner than you can imagine. Remember, nothing is ill said if not ill taken. Slay every negativity with positivity.

Advertisements

Similar but not the same !!

images (9)Holding onto things when the circumstances aren’t easy defines you more than the importance of that thing in your life. It can be anything relationships, your dreams, career or a simple thing that is easy to leave. When all the conditions are against that thing you choose the easy way out of ditching the thing but what makes you a strong person is holding onto things in difficult times.

One of my friends and I were discussing about the game “Candy crush” I slept late last night as I was playing the game. Then my friend said how he uninstalled the game because the levels were getting difficult. To which I said that you can’t quit things because they are getting hard to which my friend replied saying there are many such things, so why waste time on a particular thing.That particular line of his which was meant for games, set my mind to work, thinking on life.download (2)

Sometimes, simple discussions can lead to serious conversations.

Well, even I had a point where a couldn’t clear a level (181 πŸ˜› ) even after numerous days. I didn’t uninstall the game instead I let it be for some while and then after quite a few months I started the game again and cleared the level. After that I have cleared 105 levels more and I am quite pleased.

At a point my friend might be right, when we have lots of similar things then why waste time on only one, if it goes wrong we still have similar things. After giving it a thought I found out that I disagreed to that. Similar things don’t mean the same things. There is a huge difference between similar and same. I cannot settle for something which is similar to a thing I love when I can have that thing itself after a little hard work. The immense satisfaction you get after hard work cannot be beaten with anything similar. When success kisses you after failure has kicked you 1000 times, that feeling can’t be expressed. It is the best feeling, the feeling of what you are capable of, the feeling of not giving up and most importantly the feeling of SUCCESS !

The same applies to your relationships with people. You let go of your friend in the confusion of misunderstandings because it is the easiest thing to do than trying to clear all the chaos. Why? because you don’t want to work hard, you have many friends, your life won’t stop without that one person. But… but… but… the guilt trip you will get every time you see the person, the disappointment of not trying and the sadness of not having them near you will haunt you. All the ifs and would bes will surround you. Any other person can fill in the position of that person but they won’t be the same. They will be similar but not same.

images (8)Dreams are the most hard work requiring tasks. There are more times when quitting seems better than trying than there are times where working against all odds seems reasonable. If you quit at these weak moments you will never taste success and every night when you go to sleep, questions like – what if, if only, I should-be, will keep on firing. But if you hold onto your dreams at these times, no matter how hard it has been, it will always leave you satisfied when you achieve your dreams. There might be many things that are easy and similar to your dreams but it won’t be the same.

In life, we have to choose between many paths, the paths we choose decide our future. With no sight of a clear road, we

download (1)always have a choice to either change the path or continue dragging ourselves, with bruises and cuts, along the path we chose.

If you change the path, the pain you went through for the distance you covered will be wasted and you will never know how beautiful the end was going to be because lotuses bloom in mud.

images (7)

My adviceΒ – Work hard and hold on… you will be rewarded big time !! πŸ™‚

You choose perplexity or competence – Your problem isn’t what needs to be dealt with and overcome but the way you take your problem is.

As we grow up, we face many situations that change our personalities. Some people learn to deal with circumstances with as minimal fuss as possible while some create a lot of fuss over the minimalist things. Some learn to help themselves while some can’t help asking help from others. Some tend to avoid problems while some invite problems. Some turn optimists while some pessimists. Some grow with their problems while some become more miserable. Some open up while some shut up. In all, experiences change us. Every misery we deal with has an effect on us, whether we realize it or not but we do change.

images (7)

Most of the times, we go through good changes. Bad changes do not come with problems, problems are meant to train our brains like gyms are meant to train our bodies. If there’s a bad change in you after a hard phase is over then it is you who has failed to learn from it, it is you who made wrong choices, it is you who dealt with it in a wrong way or it just may be your company as well because all the problems in your life are meant to be lessons and like your school times you may feel that some problems are as useless as finding the x in maths but it will teach you something. That’s for sure. No knowledge is useless unless you know how to utilize it.

I have learnt a great deal of things from my bad experiences. Those experiences have polished me. I am grateful for those experiences more than the good ones because the good experiences become memories and bad experiences become a part of you.

Your scars reflect the battles you fight. Some encounters may give you wounds that leave scars when it heals, those scars will always remind you of what you went through and how you survived it. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself because of it, make it your pride. Make it your strength; whenever tough times come, show yourself your scars and prepare yourself. If that can pass then this can too.

handling-problemsWhen in a problem, observation of facts and events have always helped me out. Sometimes the ways you think would be the easiest to solve the problems seem reasonable but when you think about it in long run it doesn’t look great. So before acting on a solution why not give it a thought. Analyze it and think about it with a different perspective, think about how it will affect you now and would this thing actually matter in future. If you don’t get both the answers just flush your idea and think of something else.

Knowledge gained by actually doing or living through something is the most valuable knowledge, treasure it for it will show you the light in your dark times. Don’t ever hate your problems. Always love them. Loving the problems won’t solve them but hating doesn’t solve them either. Loving your problems solve half of your problems. Think of it as an opportunity to learn something new, to grow, to find yourself and to become a better person. When you don’t think of your problem as a problem but a learning experience it no longer remains a problem.download

It’s all in our mind. It can solve thousands of existing problems and also create lakhs of non-existing ones. How you behave in hard times reflect your personality. Staying calm amidst all complications is what proves you to be a strong person.

A matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful haunts our peace of mind, provides our mind with an unwanted guest who is a pain in the you-know-where but when it is regarded as a tenant then it leaves when the lease expires and pays in the form of knowledge and experience. Your problem isn’t what needs to be dealt with and overcome but the way you take your problem is.

Your bewilderment, lack of comprehension, bemusement result in perplexity; your inability to deal with a situation. Sometimes being oblivious is a better option than actually dealing with the problem and being stupefied. Every problem doesn’t need to be solved some mend themselves when you move on. Like when any of your relations break, you consider that pain as your problem; you cry, you rant, you plan revenge, you abuse, you curse but that doesn’t solve anything. What solves it is leaving it as it is and moving on. When you ditch a problem, its grip gradually loosens.

When your thoughts are muddled up, go to bed; don’t go to sleep, just go to your bed and get inside your blanket. Blankets have this tremendous power of making you feel safe and careless. That feeling is what you need to straighten up your mind, to clear the mess and tidy up your thoughts. When you come out of that blanket you should have a solution.images (6)

If not then you need to find a way of your own. A way that lets you think clearly, without any knowledge of what you are supposed to do and what not. Just close your eyes and go on.

Staying strong doesn’t clear the obstacles but helps you do it yourself. Believe in yourself and see wonders happen.

My Advice – Β Whether to pause your life with perplexity or cherish it with competence is your choice. Make your choices the backbone of your solutions and you shall live a life of eternal bliss.

A good conscience is a soft pillow / A guilty conscience is a bed of thorns.

I am a great fan of thinking before bed. You know, the usual – make your bed, check your alarm, check mails, shut down social networking sites, fill up the water bottle; keep the alarm, water bottle, cellphone next to you, read if you want, adjust the air conditioning, turn the lights off, get under the blanket, say your prayers and think. JUST THINK !! Either with your eyes open or close, doesn’t matter.

images (8)

Well it actually does. In my case it indicates what I am thinking, it indicates if my mind is at rest or not. When the day has been smooth, nothing eventful has happened then I smile while thinking about the peaceful day. Eyes closed and a smile. As a result of being guilt free I am not afraid of the dark instead it feels flattering. The world seems a better place, I don’t hate being here anymore. My head feels light and I feel like I am among the stars. Beautiful and shining. A clear and innocent conscience has nothing to fear about.

If something negative happens in the day, whether it’s my fault or not, I feel guilty for letting myself in such situation.If images (9)someone bitches about someone in front of me and I don’t defend the person, if I know the truth but choose to keep mum in order to not interfere, if I know someone is misleading someone yet I don’t stop them then It’s my conscience that punishes me. When I am all set to analyze my day, I cannot keep my eyes close. My eyes are wide open and I keep staring in space with a frown instead of a smile.

The guilt eats my sleep away, it kills that peaceful feeling I die for. How ironic that is!Β 

Practically, all of this is none of my business, it’s the other people’s choices but being a good person, I am bound to help others without them asking and then make a fool of myself and then again feel guilty for not keeping my promise to myself of playing blind, deaf and mute to the evilness around me. But then again, my conscience is selfish, it would rather put me in trouble than see someone else suffering. But rarely anyone appreciates my efforts.

My conscience is downright stupid!! If it was a person, it would be the dumbest of all. Whether I suffer or someone else, it’s my conscience that feels the guilt. As if every bad thing that happens in the world is somehow my fault.

I was raised to always follow the good path, no matter how difficult it is, no matter if I am alone on that path, no matter if I am torn, what matters is that I pick up my pieces and keep following my heart. I’ve to push myself every time I stop, no one else is going to do that for me. That’s when my conscience comes into picture. The highest court of justice in the universe is our conscience. If your conscience is guilt free and you can sleep a continuous deep sleep. Then my friend, you ain’t doing anything wrong. Congratulations !!

images (10)

There’s a funny thing about our guilt. Whether we hurt ourselves or others, it sets to work of making our life a hell. I think our conscience doesn’t know that we hurt someone for their own good. It emphasis on the word HURT and ignores others and then the guilt soldiers set to action.

Whenever you don’t know what your guilt it about. Take a deep breath, relax, close your eyes slowly, question yourself. Question yourself until you hear two voices arguing inside your head. Let them talk, don’t interfere, don’t take sides and don’t try to shut them off. Just keep listening. You will be stunned to see maturity in your thoughts and the stupidity too. After this mental exercise, you are sure to get the reason behind your guilt or something that is related.

imagesIf you accept your mistake and think of ways to set it right then you images (1)are on the right path of having a clear conscience but if you don’t accept what you have done and brush it off then it is more likely to haunt you life long. When others hurt us, it is easier to forget but when we hurt someone… God brace our memory! … our conscience is never going to let us forget it. We will be the prisoner of our guilt. To have freedom is to have a clear conscience.

In some circumstances you need to talk to someone who will completely understand you and not judge you. That someone is YOU ! You know yourself well, you know the reason behind your choices, you know the motivation of your decisions then why not listen to your inner voice. Good or bad, the voice is yours. Trust it and follow it. It will surely do wonders. Because your conscience is like a personalized version to the meaning of good and bad.

My advice – Our conscience seems to be the voice of our soul. Our gut feeling, our instinct. Never ignore these signals. Even if there is a itsy-bitsy hint of something fishy, just withdraw yourself from that situation. It might save you from some bigger mishap. πŸ™‚Β 

You can’t make an omellet without breaking a few eggs

images (3)Β  Β  Β  Β  Β You can’t always please people.Β When you try to do something great, you will probably make some people annoyed or angry. Don’t worry about those people; just focus on the good results.

downloadOver the years, I’ve realized that pleasing everyone is nearly impossible. The things that are appreciated by some people are also disregarded by some others. No matter what you do, No matter how good your intentions are; there will always be someone who will have a problem with what you do. It’s important to ignore some of the negative remarks in life. Such people are no good than a broken glass.

 

There’s a different perspective to this too, broken glass can be used to create masterpieces. It 10702f441128e8427cda2f122360aea6depends on the outlook of the person. In the same manner, the negative comments, the rude remarks, the dislike can all be used to increase your strength. Sometimes, it’s not your effort that falls short, it’s the thinking of the people thatΒ doesn’t allow them to look beyond the barriers set by their minds.

It isn’t always necessary that your work has some problem or your ideas aren’t good. It is possible that the people don’t like the idea because they don’t like you. NO !! There is nothing wrong with you. There is again a different perspective to it.

1) Maybe the person sees you as a threat.
2) Maybe the person is insecure of your work.
3) Maybe the person considers you a competition.
4) Maybe the person has misunderstood you or your intentions.
5) Maybe the person is jealous.

Many times your expertise in a field can make you a threat to others. Someone’s success causes someone’s failure. Your success may have intimidated the person which causes him to disapprove you or your work. Your triumph can give rise to the feeling of insecurity. People working in the same field may consider you a competition. Taking that competition in a healthy way is what is required for the growth of both the parties.

For eg- In college, I’ve faced people who are jealous and insecure from me. I’ve always been good in studies, I’m not the one’s who keep mugging up for the whole year. I am the type who doesn’t hangout with books for the complete year yet rocks it at the last moment. This thing makes many feel jealous. They study the whole year yet I am the one who gets better marks. These feelings lead to lot of negativity around you. Some people don’t know how to control their emotions which has created problems for me many times.

The comments like – “You read novels all the time yet you score good.”
“You don’t need to study, you’ll score good.”
“Why do you need notes?”
“No tension for you, you will write anything and will get marks.”
These are the mocking comments that actually don’t affect me. But the ones like –
“God is so unfair. She doesn’t study and gets good marks and we do so much hard work ….”
“You are god gifted. You will fill the paper. Don’t worry.”
“Fail for once no, let’s be in the same boat.”
“Liar… you study for the whole year and don’t tell us.”
“Your paper didn’t go well? Go away… Drama queen… You say this and then top…”

Β  Β images (5)There are many such comments which aren’t even worth remembering. Their comments mostly fall on deaf ears but when I am bothered about my exams is when I hear all this and feel bad. They don’t know that this isn’t only God’s gift. It’s my hard work too. When they are all busy in mocking the teacher during lectures, I pay attention and register what is being taught in my mind. I teach my classmates during vivas and exams which helps me in understanding things. I can complete the whole course book in just few hours is because I have trained my mind to read and visualize at a speed by exercising my brain by reading novels. I don’t follow the conventional way of mugging up like all the students that doesn’t mean I don’t work hard enough. Just because my techniques are different from you, doesn’t give you a right to question my sincerity.

I won’t say that people’s comments have never affected me. They have, they surely have. There was a time that other’s jealousy made me so frustrated that I screwed up my exams. But nevertheless, I have always been a strong girl and have a habit of sitting back and analyzing situations when things go wrong. If the insecure people put me in that condition, another jealous person brought me out of it. How?

Here is what happened – In the 1st semester I was among the toppers, so the back-benchers (I was one of them) were not that happy because none of them was close to me, The closest percentage too had a gap of 10% with me. This led to them wishing ill for me, passing sarcastic comments which were downright mean. I remember that once when the bell rang indicating the end of time for a particular exam, one friend of mine asked me whether I had completed the paper, I said yes and saw her banging the bench with her fist with disappointment because she couldn’t complete her paper. She didn’t see me notice but that day I felt bad and then a second incident followed, I have a habit of not buying text books unless I need them, I always buy them just the day before exam. So, when we went to the shop in front of our college, the book was out of stock. The same girl said, ” Acha hua, is baar at least tu fail hoegi.” (Good, at least you will fail this time.”) It was too late for her to shut her big mouth. These incidents proved to have taken a toll on my mind and I started being distracted in class.

Then just before my main exams another girl told me about an incident which was both unexpected and downright stupid. Let’s consider the girl who told me A and the other girl as B. So the thing was, B said to A that she will give A a party if A scored more marks than me. That was it, I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t top that time but surely was among the top 10 and was the only one to have cleared all the subjects in my group. All the others had numerous kts.

Karma !! If only had they paid more attention in their lives….

images (4)

That’s when I realized that our success always attracts haters, it is upon us how we take it.

These negative feelings are only natural for people to feel. Every person feels insecurity, jealousy, timidness and all the related emotions at some point in the life. Using these emotions for your own growth is a result of a strong mind. The person who doesn’t fear to accept the emotional turmoil going on in his mind can control those feelings and be a part of other’s happiness.

As they say, “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.”

images (1)