Over the years, I’ve realized that pleasing everyone is nearly impossible. The things that are appreciated by some people are also disregarded by some others. No matter what you do, No matter how good your intentions are; there will always be someone who will have a problem with what you do. It’s important to ignore some of the negative remarks in life. Such people are no good than a broken glass.
There’s a different perspective to this too, broken glass can be used to create masterpieces. It depends on the outlook of the person. In the same manner, the negative comments, the rude remarks, the dislike can all be used to increase your strength. Sometimes, it’s not your effort that falls short, it’s the thinking of the people that doesn’t allow them to look beyond the barriers set by their minds.
It isn’t always necessary that your work has some problem or your ideas aren’t good. It is possible that the people don’t like the idea because they don’t like you. NO !! There is nothing wrong with you. There is again a different perspective to it.
1) Maybe the person sees you as a threat.
2) Maybe the person is insecure of your work.
3) Maybe the person considers you a competition.
4) Maybe the person has misunderstood you or your intentions.
5) Maybe the person is jealous.
Many times your expertise in a field can make you a threat to others. Someone’s success causes someone’s failure. Your success may have intimidated the person which causes him to disapprove you or your work. Your triumph can give rise to the feeling of insecurity. People working in the same field may consider you a competition. Taking that competition in a healthy way is what is required for the growth of both the parties.
For eg- In college, I’ve faced people who are jealous and insecure from me. I’ve always been good in studies, I’m not the one’s who keep mugging up for the whole year. I am the type who doesn’t hangout with books for the complete year yet rocks it at the last moment. This thing makes many feel jealous. They study the whole year yet I am the one who gets better marks. These feelings lead to lot of negativity around you. Some people don’t know how to control their emotions which has created problems for me many times.
The comments like – “You read novels all the time yet you score good.”
“You don’t need to study, you’ll score good.”
“Why do you need notes?”
“No tension for you, you will write anything and will get marks.”
These are the mocking comments that actually don’t affect me. But the ones like –
“God is so unfair. She doesn’t study and gets good marks and we do so much hard work ….”
“You are god gifted. You will fill the paper. Don’t worry.”
“Fail for once no, let’s be in the same boat.”
“Liar… you study for the whole year and don’t tell us.”
“Your paper didn’t go well? Go away… Drama queen… You say this and then top…”
There are many such comments which aren’t even worth remembering. Their comments mostly fall on deaf ears but when I am bothered about my exams is when I hear all this and feel bad. They don’t know that this isn’t only God’s gift. It’s my hard work too. When they are all busy in mocking the teacher during lectures, I pay attention and register what is being taught in my mind. I teach my classmates during vivas and exams which helps me in understanding things. I can complete the whole course book in just few hours is because I have trained my mind to read and visualize at a speed by exercising my brain by reading novels. I don’t follow the conventional way of mugging up like all the students that doesn’t mean I don’t work hard enough. Just because my techniques are different from you, doesn’t give you a right to question my sincerity.
I won’t say that people’s comments have never affected me. They have, they surely have. There was a time that other’s jealousy made me so frustrated that I screwed up my exams. But nevertheless, I have always been a strong girl and have a habit of sitting back and analyzing situations when things go wrong. If the insecure people put me in that condition, another jealous person brought me out of it. How?
Here is what happened – In the 1st semester I was among the toppers, so the back-benchers (I was one of them) were not that happy because none of them was close to me, The closest percentage too had a gap of 10% with me. This led to them wishing ill for me, passing sarcastic comments which were downright mean. I remember that once when the bell rang indicating the end of time for a particular exam, one friend of mine asked me whether I had completed the paper, I said yes and saw her banging the bench with her fist with disappointment because she couldn’t complete her paper. She didn’t see me notice but that day I felt bad and then a second incident followed, I have a habit of not buying text books unless I need them, I always buy them just the day before exam. So, when we went to the shop in front of our college, the book was out of stock. The same girl said, ” Acha hua, is baar at least tu fail hoegi.” (Good, at least you will fail this time.”) It was too late for her to shut her big mouth. These incidents proved to have taken a toll on my mind and I started being distracted in class.
Then just before my main exams another girl told me about an incident which was both unexpected and downright stupid. Let’s consider the girl who told me A and the other girl as B. So the thing was, B said to A that she will give A a party if A scored more marks than me. That was it, I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t top that time but surely was among the top 10 and was the only one to have cleared all the subjects in my group. All the others had numerous kts.
Karma !! If only had they paid more attention in their lives….
That’s when I realized that our success always attracts haters, it is upon us how we take it.
These negative feelings are only natural for people to feel. Every person feels insecurity, jealousy, timidness and all the related emotions at some point in the life. Using these emotions for your own growth is a result of a strong mind. The person who doesn’t fear to accept the emotional turmoil going on in his mind can control those feelings and be a part of other’s happiness.
As they say, “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.”